HER first kernel
Sooo……I have been mulling over this post for a while now, never quite sure what to write or how even to write it. I promise you this was not from lack of topics to write about, or the skill to write. As you will come to find out mine is a very active and colorful imagination. However, the hesitation came from a place of fear that had found a comfortable home on my nerves.
On a daily basis I am bombarded with ideas for topics to write about. And, on a daily basis, I would go thru a cocktail of emotions that include worry, fright and a dollop (what the hell is that?) of disenchantment. With more worry than anything else, I was focused on a million and one questions ‘What could go wrong with this idea’; ‘What’s the best layout for the page?’ ‘What if no one likes the stories/pieces I write?’ ‘What if I don’t have anything profound to say/share?’ This was probably the easiest question, because I had an immediate answer, which was ‘Fem? Fem, kokoro? Gbain lenu e’ = ‘Shut your pie hole!’
Having a quick response for one question however proved useless as it just seemed to unlock a flood gate for many more. One thing I did notice about all the questions was that they all shared a common theme- What if-ism? I was focused on the end result. I need to know before I can move forward. Crazy as it sounds, and this is me we are talking about, decision-making has never really been my strong point. For others, abso-freaking-lutely I’ll help you analyze the mess out of your situation and help you arrive at a workable solution. For me, though? Let’s just keep it moving.
Anyway, I finally got my subtle push from an unlikely source, my father…well indirectly anyway. I say unlikely because writing/blogging is by no stretch of the imagination his cup of tea, but no matter as he oftentimes does he came thru anyway. My dad is a man of many, many, many words (ooh that man can speak) and his words are oftentimes garnished with proverbs; which is common practice for 9ja parents. He had several of them when I was growing up; many of which stayed with me till now. My father couldn’t complete an entire sentence without throwing in a catchphrase, proverb of sorts; some of which I find myself using on my own children.
One of those proverbs came into play recently, helping to nudge me into writing this post. The saying is “Akoyin agbado o şoro ju.”
Let me preface this by stating that this saying is rooted in a favorite pastime growing up in 9ja- hand shelling kernels from maize cob, or corn cob. These kernels are then used for a variety of dishes; my favorite being my grandmother’s Ekuru (a corny version of Moinmoin, the Bean Pie) Oy vay!
The proverb translates to mean- “The most difficult part of hand shelling a cob (agbado) is popping that very first kernel.” Thanks, Dad 🙂
Shortly thereafter, I received a very interesting email from one of my brothers; we call him the “Professor”. The email read:
Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the field of all possibilities. In your willingness to step into the unknown, you will have the wisdom of uncertainty factored within. This means that every moment of your life, you will experience the adventures and mysteries. You will experience the fun of life the magic and celebration of your own spirit.
Well there you have it. I best get to writing then. And that’s exactly what I did.
I figured this was a good a time as any for the first post. This past week has given me much to ponder over, my feisty niece, Roley Poley turning 3months on February 2, the same day of actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s passing; my mom turning 60th birthday on Friday the 7. I remember looking over the photos and I couldn’t help but wonder that she looked different. She has aged, gracefully, but aged nonetheless. She was still the same Mom I’d known my whole life, but now there was this serene glow on her face. I saw my mom in a different light somehow, for a moment she was no longer my Mom, just another woman- wife and mother who seemed content with life, as though her mind body and soul had finally found a balance.
Then on Saturday February 8th, I launched the website for a company that I had ‘dillydallied’ with for over a decade…almost two decades actually. FRADKonsulting- www.fradkonsulting.com I had set a goal to have the site published by February 1st, but I forgot to factor in the sense of humor of my ‘Oga/Boss’ upstairs. 7days late? I can live with that. Trust me, if you knew the story behind FRAD and me, you would be ecstatic that I ventured this far.
On Saturday, I also hit my 21Day mark of the 100Day Challenge and celebrated a 6lbs loss. I’d been doing Cardio, Weights and a lot of Yoga. Oh and speaking of Yoga! I can now sit in full Lotus position. Legs fully crossed, the whole bit. Yay me! This is a pose that I would not have thought of, let alone attempt 3/4months ago; which I admit really bothered me.
I remember giving my poor grandmother (Lord rest her soul) palpitations doing crab walks, head stands, handstands and other body twists and bends that would make a pretzel green with envy. I did them mostly to rattle the poor woman; it was just hilarious to watch her scream amidst threats of possible infertility from broken pelvic bone. Fast forward to several visits to the Labor and Delivery ward and I could barely do squat, literally. But one day, 3months ago I started messing around with Yoga; please note that I said ‘messing around’ because I doubt if some of the poses I did qualified as an Asana. I was clumsy most times, but kept at it. After all, I’d pop that first kernel off this puppy and plan to see it through.
But day by day, week by week; and here I am, able to sit legs folded and placed one on top of the other, elbows on my thighs going ‘Humm….’
And now on Monday February 11, 2014 I am writing my first post for HER gist blog 😀
Funny thing about these major events, yelz dahling I’m that simple that for me these are major events is that they all share a common underlying theme: Fearful as I was of starting them, once I started, took that first step/ shelled that first kernel, things seemed to fall in place. And the good thing was they even knew where to fall ‘cus I sure as hell had no clue.
Please note that I am in no way saying that I am where I want to be…not sure where that is yet, but I plan to keep going. I am inspired by where I find myself, a place where I can pat myself on the back for a job well-done and say “O kare lai.” I actually did do that and it felt damn good. So good that I’m inspired to take a step further and see where that takes me, kernels and all. And I invite you to come along.
So, ‘e kaabo si ori eto wa yi’ = Welcome 😀